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On Viewing Laptops
By Dell’s Store, I wander to and fro,
Gazing on Sony’s peak, where Apple’s latest
White-gleaming, sparkles.

Sachiko M.

cat-sach-n-kaffeSachiko M. and Kaffe partying hard @ 7969 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood

Inspired by that mind-blowingly marvelous text by the gorgeous Sachiko, I’m going to tell you about my latest solo performance. Not that I’m above collaborating with my fellow musicians – provided they’re good enough and can do as they’re told. But, let’s face it, the rewards are so much better if one can play on one’s own. It’s like having a large jar of honey all to oneself.

cat-spiral-stairI’ll Starve Your Cat – photo by Paul Bennun Mon 2014

Bored with the usual laptop thing I decided I’d do a prepared/damaged laptop computer acoustic/electronica solo set.
The prepared/damaged laptop computer acoustic/electronica solo set is based in the characteristics of an Apple laptop modified by placing objects in its shiny computer belly. I employ a special technique that keeps my hands free and permits permanent sound production through a technical software technique.

As the computer hard drive squeals to a halt and the screen goes blank, the laptop throws out sort of indeterminately pitched economy-size sounds that evolve in hideous directions, building with horrid epitaxial layers of noise.


You could call it a sort of noise/ontological pointless polysemic music. You could also call it sort of an epistemological epidermis with sonic blackheads. These long sounds are cut with silences that are fundamental to the process of puffing out one’s music. Which is itself an analog of the judicious application of plumping gloss to the lips – or a vivacious springy mousse to the hair. The longest silence occurred soon into the piece. Too soon! The laptop gave one final stuttering squeal and burst into flames. I sat in silence for the remaining 57 minutes of the performance and the audience sat with me, not daring to move.


It’s really quite easy to destroy a computer. Objects like ping pong bats, pieces of Scharffen Berger chocolate, melted chopped nut boxes (my friend Annette has a kiln), liquid prosecco, plasti-dip (junior sized pot), sharp violin bow and really heavy water are used as the tools of destruction.


That’s enough ‘solo’ secrets from Kaffe’s Birkin bag for the present. It wouldn’t do to spoil all you marvelous fans rotten!!! xx

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